It was always raining when I met him. But he always went on time, despite the traffic and the heavy rain. I waved at him and started ordering food.
He was a man with a tall and slender figure. His eyelashes were so thick and pretty that made his beauty too stand out. I laughed at myself at first when I realized that I was attracted by someone’s eye like this, a man’s eye.
He smiled and I could perfectly saw that his face was flawless, like a pretty girl. But he was not girly, he moved and acted like a normal guy, I doubted that he was a gay in person.
But since I saw a man who was sitting beside him, I more doubted that he was not really that straight.
It was already our third time of hanging out. I had no many friends to ask for a coffee in a Saturday afternoon, so I found him as a gem that I had to value. It was also very nice to spend time by talking to him, and also staring at such a beauty like him.
“Hi Keane,” I sat next to him and the man that was already beside him.
“Hi, Ty, this is Bryan, I just had some talks with him,”
I glanced at his coffee that was already less than half empty. “Oh? Sorry, did you finish already or should I go somewhere else?” I could see that the man beside Keane was staring at me differently.
“No, we’re just finished but I still have quite a time until my next appointment so I may join you both,” the man answered me instead. “By the way, I’m Bryan Burdough,”
I shook his hand, “Rusty, I am Keane’s desk-mate since middle school,” I introduced myself to him.
Bryan was only nodding and our hands were still shaking. “Nice, so you frequently hangout with Keane here?”
“No, since we both are coffee enthusiasts, we often seek for a new place to try. This place is the only one that we both approved as the top list in the city. So, since when have you known Keane?”
“Coffee? I also love coffee very much! You can also ask me,” I could sense that this guy was not smiling honestly. He just tried to be friendly to me, or in front of Keane. But I didn’t really like this guy at the first impression.
Still, I tried to be nice since he’s Keane’s acquaintance.
“Sure! So when did you know Keane?” I eagerly wanted to know his answer.
“Same club in universities,” Keane answered instead of him.
“Oh? I see,” I tried to ask at first about their relationship, but I held back. I wondered at how they looked at each other, whether something was between them or I was just hallucinating.
Keane was a beauty but he rarely acted elegantly unlike now. He was responding to the man next to him with a caring eye and I just silently observed their interaction.
This was the first moment that I sensed Keane might not be a straight person. But I also sensed that the guy beside him had a feeling to him also. Or maybe I sensed they both had something between them.
“I just remembered something,” I tried to remind them that I was also here. “Did you happen to know someone who was breaking his heart previously?”
I saw that Keane looked at me furiously when Bryan looked intrigued.
“Breaking his heart… When was it?” Bryan responded me.
“I thought it was 2 or 3 years ago, he suddenly contacted me and his other old friends to hangout with him. I was his desk-mate before so I knew what was he like. He rarely contacted me unless something was up. He spent his time mostly drinking at a bar and getting drunk. Then one day when I sent him home, he cried and talked a lot of things. He told me that he liked someone so much and got rejected. I didn’t understand the rest since he was so wasted,”
Bryan paid attention to each of my talking.
“Well, I didn’t know about this before, and I have no clue who would be also,”
I wanted to assume that Bryan was the one. Then I could see he was wearing a wedding ring on his finger. I actually startled knowing that fact.
“Are you married?” I pointed at the ring.
“Oh? Yes,” but when the ring was the focus, he chose to hide it instead. Something must be bothering him to explain more about his wedding.
Bryan wore a polo shirt and it was unbuttoned around his neck. I saw a necklace he was wearing. I thought I ever saw it before, but I forgot where.
He seemed to have a loving marriage life, I assumed.
“Kids?” I asked again, and he nodded also.
Well, now I doubted something was between them. Bryan looked like a good husband. Maybe Keane was indeed liking him and the heartbreak was related to his marriage.
But then, Bryan must be lying to have no clue about the confession and rejection. Maybe he just wanted our conversation not to go awkwardly so he lied.
Still, I despised him to reject such a lovely person as Keane.
Time had passed and suddenly Bryan told us that he’s leaving. It was just me and Keane then. We were talking and sharing thought as usual. But something was bothering Keane.
“I didn’t remember you bringing me home,”
“Ah? I left you right in front of the door,” What a liar. I spent most of the night staring at him, hoping that I could bear the pain from him.
I still remembered he was crying in his sleep. He bent over and wrapped himself in his blanket. I lied in his bed beside him until the sunrise. I managed to sneak out before he woke up.
He felt embarrassed, his cheeks were red. “Did I say something?”
“You talked a lot,” I laughed at him. “You wailed at your beloved like a puppy but don’t worry, you were always silent at bar,”
I bet he was a little bit of relieved to know that. Since I was the closest to him, maybe that was the reason he was taking it all out once we’re alone.
“God, that’s embarrassing,”
I was hesitated to ask him, “So, is that him? The one who rejected you?”
He was shocked to hear my question. “Sort of,” what a vague answer.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I don’t know, it’s complicated to say that,”
“I don’t get it,”
“You don’t have to,” he sipped his last coffee.
“Well, can I ask what is your relationship with him?”
He stared at me, maybe he was wondering about how to tell me at first. “That’s the most complicated part,”
I couldn’t help but started to judge him by the eyes. “You HAVE a relationship with him? With a married man, I mean, someone's father?”
He tried to calm me, but I wished I could too. “Hey, want to come to my place? I can make better coffee,”
“Why? You can’t talk about that in an open space like here?”
He nodded and just dragged me to walk along with him. I couldn’t help but to agree. The way we walked was different than the last time I took him home.
Oh, wow. He moved to a better place. I didn’t know he had more money now.
“It’s his place,” he opened the door and said that when I looked around in awe.
“That guy place? Then why are you living here?”
“Hey, don’t judge me, this place is near to everywhere, it has a great view, great space, it’s nice,”
“So you’re sort of his mistress, huh?” I couldn’t wait to google the man. Was he an influential person or how rich was he actually?
“Kind of,” he drank a glass of water then straight to the kitchen. “Still want a coffee?”
“Well, you claimed you make better coffee, so I need to approve it first,”
I sat at the bar stool in front of him but chose to wander around. There was no single photo displayed. The place was neat and full of citrus smell. It’s fresh yet calming, I liked citrus.
“So he usually came here?”
“Yeah,”
“This whole place is still under him or he deliberately gave all to you?”
I could see from afar his smirk. “Officially mine,”
Wow, what a rich-y dick.
“Since when did you two…” Had an affair? But I couldn’t say it loudly.
“Oh, it’s long ago before he was married,”
“You knew it yet you still with him?”
He nodded and smiled bitterly, “He would file for divorce soon,”
I didn’t get it at first. But Keane finally told me everything that I should know before judging him.
Well, Bryan was a total jerk. This was my conclusion after I heard everything but I couldn’t say it to him. It’s just that Keane was too in love with him so he couldn’t see it clearly.
“But he had a baby, are you sure he will divorce her right away?”
I could see that he was not sure also.
“What do you think, then?” he asked me, of course.
“If I said you should stop this toxic relationship, will you do that? I mean, we are talking about a family that you ruined, an innocent baby that deserved his normal parents who loves each other, right?”
I meant, if that jerk was actually willing to ruin the marriage at the very start, he shouldn’t involve a baby, right?
“He must have his own reason,”
“Like what? He was forced by the parents? Oh God, do you think when will it stop if he still behaves like that?”
Keane was only muted. It must made sense to him.
I really wanted him to know that this was not the life he supposed to be. With a man to have such a decent life and integrity, he shouldn’t sacrifice everything for a jerk like Bryan.
“Are you okay with this?”
Maybe it was an emotional question to him, the tears were flowing in silent in his face. He started to cry painfully. It’s as if this whole time, he could not let it out to anyone. No one was with him to share the pain.
I saw him becoming less like a man, but more like human. “Of course, I am not okay. But I couldn’t do anything to fix this,”
“You like him a lot, don’t you?”
“If I don’t, I would’ve run away from him long ago, or I wouldn’t accept this place either,”
“What makes you like him that much?” oh, I shouldn’t ask him this kind of question.
But he looked confused, that might be a good starter. “I don’t really know exactly now but I used to like him just the way he was always there for me. But these days, I could only see him when he comes here, I couldn’t even call him any time,”
I didn’t know either if this was wrong to talk about their relationship like this and to find a solution that might them hurt. But all I knew, I needed to help him.
“Instead of a mistress, I am much worse than that, I am just his secret lover,” he touched his neck a lot, which usually indicated that he was confused. "He's too smart, he gave this place only to imprison me like a hopeless bird,"
Since I was focused to look at his neck, I noticed that the necklace he wore was the same piece as Bryan's. That must be their couple items.
"So... No one knew?" I asked to him and he nodded.
Then I looked up for that man's name online, and I couldn't help but gaping. "Man, you're fucked up," I saw him looking at me and then my phone. "His wife is Nina Griffin? The chief, Mr Griffin?"
Anyone in the country knew Mr Griffin well. He was an influential person, known for his connection and such. The Burdough family was also not just a normal family. Anyway, these people were not just like me and Keane. I wondered how Keane could be involved with such dangerous people.
"You know what? The only suggestion that I could tell you is to run for your life,"
He stared at me. "Why run?"
"It's not worth it, you risk your life and your future if this keeps going, what if one of the families know the affair?"
"Ty," he called me. "Tell me what is future,"
"What?" I wanted to believe that I just listened wrong. I heard nothing but despair in his voice.
"If there's no him in my future, then why should I live for that?"
If only I could punched his face once in my life, now was the moment. But again, his face was too pretty and pitiful to be broken. All I wanted to do was only patting his head, and hugged him tightly.
Since when was I very fond of him like this?
It's not worth it, Keane. I should have said that to him. But I couldn't.
"You already loved him that much?"
He turned his head away. "I've lost him before and it's worse,"
I sighed. "Well, I do hope he keeps his words," I meant it, really. "Or at least no one will know this,"
Then I leaned towards him. I tried to remove the necklace, and even though he resisted it at first, he let me took away his necklace.
"You can't be too obvious, then,"
"That is the only thing that could remind me that I am his wherever I go,"
Considering how rich that man was, I didn't understand why the necklace was too plain and simple, it looked too cheap.
"I bought it myself," he added more.
"Huh? But why? I thought this was from him,"
"I bought for him years ago for his graduation, then I thought I should buy another one for myself,"
I just didn't get it.
"So, rather than this place, what else did he buy to you?"
"I'm not that broke to ask for his money, though,"
Of course, you idiot. But I personally thought that it could show how important himself to that man. I really wanted to know how often they met, even what would they do whenever they were together. What I was curious about, how on earth did he love him unconditionally like this.
"But if you really missed him, were you even allowed to make a call?"
He curled up himself on the sofa, "I didn't dare to, I knew Nina too well, she threatened me many times when she knew I contacted him,"
"You mean, his wife knows your affair?"
He shook his head, "She told me it was me that was too clingy to him, she knew I loved him but she thought it was one sided,"
In truth, I didn't know what to say or what to react. I couldn't really blame him for the affair, and I couldn't feel sorry for the wife also. I would only resent that man for being two-faced and let these messes piled up for years.
But to help him getting rid of the man he loved, I didn't also know it would be a right thing.
"So how long will you wait for him?"
"I don't know, maybe one or two years I think, but who knows, I always end up waiting for another year more,"
"That's actually okay if you think it's mutual,"
He took a glance at me, "What do you mean by that?"
"Which one?"
"Mutual, what are you implying to?"
"Oh?" It looked like the word confused him. "I mean, if you feel that your relationship now benefits you both in some ways, then it's okay to keep it up,"
He swirled the sweater's sleeve that he wore, "I don't know, I never talked about this openly to anyone before. I am not sure if I'm relieved to talk it more or I'm getting more confused than before,"
"Is that a good sign or a bad one? Or should we just end the session now?"
He looked at me, with a bitter smile, "No, I think it's good, if you're okay with that, then I'd prepare some snacks then,"
I smiled at him, and he smiled back. That pair of eyes that I adored the most, were smiling at me. I shouldn't be greedier than this.
*****
I actually never expected that my new client would be someone I never wanted to be involved in. It was just yesterday that my boss had assigned me a new project of the resort, which owned by Nina Griffin. I met the wife and also the husband, Bryan.
Actually I was nervous the first time I saw them. I tried to act normal, but I wouldn't hide that I met Bryan before.
"Oh? Hi, we meet again," I shook hands with the husband first.
Nina looked stunned when I moved to shake her hands after that.
"So you two knew each other?"
I checked the husband reaction first, his eyes tried to look away, so I answered instead, "Yes, we met through a colleague. His friend just happened to be mine too,"
"Oh?" Nina did not want to dig any deeper so she just proceeded to talk about the project. Actually, she was a real businesswoman though. She knew what to do and the best part was, she knew exactly what she wanted. That's a relief, it's easier to grasp her expectation than I thought.
But on the contrary, the husband, seemed too quiet. He did not care of anything, so I also ignored him. When Nina excused herself to go out for a moment, that's when finally the husband spoke to me.
"I did not expect to see you again," his voice was too cold and intimidating, but he still put a smile on his face. I got a chill looking at him.
"Me too, but it's nice meeting you and your wife," I gave back the smile. "She was smart and attentive to detail, I like having a client like her. So tell me, who will be in charge of the resort? Is it you or her?"
"Me. But I let the concept and everything to her. But I will manage the business, it will be under my company's management,"
I saw again the project details. It would take 1.5 years to finish everything, and a sudden thought just came to my mind,
There's no way he will file for divorce before the project ends, right? When will it be possible, then?
"Can we just be frank to each other?" I took off my glasses. Too much clouds in my head. I really needed to convey this. "We all want this project to be smooth than ever, right?"
He looked at me, frowned. "Yes," there's no doubt in his voice.
"Keane told me everything, actually, about your affair. He said you will divorce her soon,"
He just straightened his sitting position. I could see he looked frozen hearing my words.
"So when will it be? Is it before or after the project ends? Or will you ask him to wait again for another year until you settle managing the resort? Or are you even keeping it in mind, that someone is waiting for your action?"
He was sweating so suddenly.
"Look, I should be worry of this too as your consultant and also as his friends,"
"As a consultant, what will you suggest to me, then?" He wrapped his hands and even though he looked too stiff, he tried his best to relax and clear his mind.
"Whatever happens between you and Nina will affect this project progress, so I don't want any personal conflict to be involved,"
"And as his friends, will you suggest the same?"
"Yes, but you also need to end things with him too. It's disgusting enough knowing what you did to him these past years,"
"You like him, don't you?" when he finally got to relax, I got a chill from head to toes. This person could see me after all.
"And what will you do if I say yes? Will you ask him to stop meeting me?"
"No, he barely has any friend, since he said everything to you, it means he is comfortable enough around you,"
He stood up and took a sip of water on a dispenser near the room.
"But, what can you do? Even if I tell him to break up, will that be okay for him?"
I saw his eyes, and I knew exactly what kind of person he was. A manipulative person and a dominating one. At this point, I didn't know again whether he loved Keane too or it was just possessiveness.
"We love each other too much and you can't even separate us," it's annoying to look how he looked right now.
"So between your feelings towards him and your part as Burdough and Griffin families, which one will you choose?"
He stared at me, deeply. I gave a big smile at him, to show that I was superior to him in a way.
"Both," he answered with such confidence. "I can do both perfectly. It's exhausting but I can do it. I don't want to lose him, ever, if that's what you're trying to say,"
"So it's fine if the families are ruined?"
"Are you threatening me?"
I was startled at first, realizing that he was intimidated. But that's not my intention so far.
"How can I? I just need to know as a consultant, just in case,"
"Please keep him company, I ask you," he turned his head away. "I do aware that I have no enough time for him. I am worried if he's lonely these days,"
I looked at him. He did love him, but some parts of him were too greedy for me to symphatize.
"Don't worry,"
Nina was coming in after that so we discussed about the project instead.
The more I talked to Nina, the more I found her being adorable. She was the type of independent woman who was full of confidence. I bet anyone would envy her since she seemed to have such a perfect life. I wondered what would her reaction be when she realized that her husband was having an affair with a man.
"Thank you for your time, Mr and Mrs Burdough," I excused myself after we all finished meeting.
Nina was too a woman with good manner, she waved at me and said to look forward for the project. I was relieved that the first project meeting was considered a success.
After some time passed, I had frequent meetings with Nina only and the progress was quite on track. I didn't even dare to ask the husband whereabouts. I sort of guessed Nina replies would be "still in somewhere meeting" so I never tried to break off the atmosphere.
This time, Nina brought her child to the place and I could see this little boy looked exactly like his father. A bitter feeling suddenly attacked me. I pitied the boy very much and determined that I had to do something.
After the boy was dragged out by his personal nanny, Nina suddenly looked at me, and said,
"Something is bothering you, what is it? What are you hesitating to tell me?"
I looked back at her too, without a clue.
"You saw Bryan's mistress, didn't you?" She seemed so calm while I got shocked with her saying.
She put away the documents and all the files at the desk, then crossed her arms and showed that she wanted to change the topic.
"You saw him with another woman, so you hesitated whether to let me know or not, don't worry, you're not the first actually,"
I got confused. The husband had another affair with woman too? Was Keane aware of this actually?
"What? No... I just thought of something else, I'm sorry. Anyway I only met your husband once and he's with nobody, so I don't know anything,"
Yet, she looked very calm. "I see. It's just that you had the same expression as other people who told me that,"
"So your husband had a mistress?"
She drank her tea with a relaxed figure. "Yes, but I don't care at all,"
"Do you love him?" She looked at me after hearing what I asked.
"How could I agree to marry someone that never love me, then?"
So she knew actually.
"Even if he likes anyone out there, she won't replace my position as her legitimate wife," she showed the ring at her finger.
This woman was actually incredible. She's very smart and determined.
"You do love him, but you're okay if he's having an affair?"
She nodded. "He'll come back to me, eventually,"
After the meeting was over, I called a trainee that I had assigned to stay for some weeks. I personally requested him as a spy and reported what kind of rumors were going around the Griffin & Burdough families.
"Everyone knew Bryan is having a mistress,"
"Who?"
"She's his ex secretary. She lived in a penthouse that was rented by Bryan. But her whereabouts were too difficult to find. Let me show you the picture of her,"
My phone was showing new message notification and a figure of an extreme beauty appeared. I was doubt if she was claimed herself as a secretary, though. It's easier to believe that she was a model due to her gorgeous look.
"Do you want to meet her?"
"Don't you say she's hard to find?"
"Anyone does, but I actually know her, so I can set a meeting if you want,"
The main reason that I personally chose him to be a spy was because of his connection and personality. This boy was a party animal and an outgoing type. He's perfect for such a job actually.
"Can you get close to her and let me know if she's meeting with Bryan?"
With an "okay" from him, I delegated another task for him. He was also excited to this kind of work instead of his actual responsibility.
It was more than a week and I was just in front of Keane's place when the boy called me.
"She never met with him and I cannot find any hint she's having relationship with him too. It's more likely they are breaking up. Should I keep close with her, then?"
"Do whatever you need to confirm them. Thanks for the report,"
The door was opened and I saw Keane was using an apron. What a cute sight of him actually. "What report?"
I put the phone to my pocket again and followed him inside. "No, I just took a call,"
"Oh," Keane was going to the kitchen and I did not see a single meal actually. It turned out he was doing the dishes.
"I expected a food, though," I yelled at him while I sat on the sofa.
"Cooking is not my thing. We better go out or order a delivery instead,"
"You're not having a date with your beloved today?" I took glance of him.
"He just left," he said calmly.
"Ah" I did not expect that. "So... Did he tell you that I am handling his project?"
"Are you? He did not mention anything yet,"
"Do you know who is Karina?"
He then stopped and put out the apron, then walked towards me. "Why is it?"
"You know... I heard a strange rumor that she's his mistress,"
I could see how shocked he was and how hard he tried to hide it. I once hoped that this was not true and perhaps Keane was aware of this too. Somehow some part of my mind thought this was their strategy to deceive others and Nina. But looking at his reaction, he certainly had no idea of this.
I texted the trainee once again, and asked him to continue the mission, at least until a month.
"What do you think now?"
Keane was clueless and it showed clearly. A burst of tears was coming out of him suddenly. I did not dare to explain what I knew about the woman anymore.
"Well, I guess it's not a great time to hangout," I stood up from the sofa and prepared to leave.
A pair of hands suddenly held me. "Tell me more you know,"
"I'm not sure but even Nina was aware of this too, and it's as if this isn't the first or the only one. I can seek for more information if you want,"
"Yes please," I still saw tears were flowing heavily on his face.
I then sat again next to him. "Don't you think it's time for you to get away from him?"
"Is she pretty?" he did not even listen to me.
I nodded, "Shockingly gorgeous I must say," I opened the photos of the woman and showed to him.
He just stared at the photo in silent.
"What will you do?" asked me.
"I'll think of it later. Can we just go out now?"
I agreed. He needed a fresh air to calm his mind. I brought him to have lunch first, then we took a walk after that. He looked blank and did not let out a sound. I just followed his step and walked beside him.
He then realized ignoring me for such a long time, so he turned his head to me and asked, "Shall we go to a bar, instead?"
I just nodded to him. We went to our usual place and I understood he wanted to waste himself tonight. He started to drink and drink more. I could only be silently beside him and listened to any gibberish he said.
He already drank too much but he did not even stop. He had a high tolerance of alcohol so he hardly got drunk. His face was getting redder when he looked up to me and said,
"Ty, thank you for being here,"
I did not answer him but listened carefully. He reached my hands and held it tenderly. Something hit me in a flash. The urge to embrace him could not be contained anymore.
I was hesitating to kiss him but my face was getting closer to him eventually. He then realized what I tried to do but did not bat an eye. When I convinced myself this was a bad idea and timing, I linked my arms and put his head into my shoulders instead.
"Don't mention it,"
I just realized that I already like him too much. I wanted to wash away his pain and protect him at any cost. But for now there's nothing that I could do but beside him.
Someone was suddenly dragging me and then punched me so I fell down from the chair. It was Bryan. He appeared out of nowhere and showed a rage. He must saw us and got furious. I wonder what would happen if I insisted on kissing Keane just now.
I had prepared to fight when Keane was standing in front of me to defend. He yelled at Bryan and asked him to explain. Bryan noticed that all eyes were looking at us so he hesitated to prolong the scene.
"Let's talk outside," Bryan was holding Keane's arm to drag him, but he then refused.
"What? You don't want anyone know? Are you too ashamed to talk it here? What? What is it that you want to say?"
Finally, Keane was too wasted and let out his true self.
"Not here," Bryan insisted him to get out. Keane refused once again.
"You let others find out your affair with a woman but not with me? Tell me, what is it actually that you're trying to protect? Me or your own image?"
Bryan looked at Keane then at me, and then he just left straight away. Keane opened his phone and showed me the incoming calls. It's Bryan. What a coward.
"He wanted to talk privately," he said to me after picking up the call.
"Should I take you home?"
He nodded so we just went back. He grabbed my hands, signalling me to stay at his side so I came in too. I could see Bryan was there already. He looked way calmer but when he stared at our holding hands, he got upset again.
"What is that you hear from him?" He sounded unfriendly at all.
"Who is Karina?"
A straight question from Keane and I could see he blamed me.
"What's with her?" He tried to act innocent apparently.
"Don't you try to fool me anymore!" I could feel Keane was actually scared since his hands were trembling while holding my hands. Right, he did not let go of his hands from mine.
"She's a part of my plan actually. I used her as a cover and to provoke Nina. But she did not even care of it or even asked for divorce,"
"What have you done with her?"
Bryan raised his eyebrow, "What do you mean... Do you think I..."
"Do you think I know nothing? I wasn't sure at first but now it's too clear. If you really didn't do anything, why wouldn't you tell me your plan? That didn't make sense,"
I could not help but looking at Keane. Apparently he already knew about the woman, but since when and how?
"Everything had not made any sense. I am only fooling myself after all. Tell me, what is it that you seek from me? Do you think that I am only one of your possession, your kind of toy?"
The man in front of us was only standing in silence.
"I endured it many times for you. I always convinced myself that you are indeed in love with me, and at the end there would be only us cherished each other. But there were too many things between us. Your greed for your business, your ambition for political position, and it's all on you, not Nina, not your own families, or even your in-laws. It was you who lied, and I only waited here until you get tired of everything. But you're still you, you're only seeing me as another plaything who can embrace you when you're lonely, aren't you?"
"Keane, listen to me..." Bryan was walking closer to him but he was backing off.
"If you really meant to break things off with Nina, you could do that long ago, but you're not since you don't want to. You're not in love with her but you love what she has given to you. You know what? You're both such a match made in heaven. You're both hypocrite, I hope you live happily ever after,"
Right after that, Keane hurriedly went for packing his things. It's not taking too long and he only brought a suitcase to leave. Bryan was holding him tightly. He did not want to let go of Keane.
"Babe, please..."
Keane sighed and then stared at Bryan, "Will you break up with Karina?"
Bryan nodded hard. "Of course! Listen, I am very sorry not to tell you about her, but I swear nothing was going on between me and her,"
"Will you ask Nina for divorce, too?"
Bryan then just stayed silent. Keane let his hands away from him and walked to the door.
"So that's your answer at the end,"
I followed Keane outside since it there's no reason anymore to be inside. After many steps, I finally asked to him,
"So where will you go now?"
I looked back and saw that Bryan was not following us. Then I saw that Keane did not plan to slow. He just kept walking until at the bus stop, he just looked at me.
"Can I stay at your place for a while?"
I was startled but just nodded. That's what I wanted to ask him just now.
"I don't want him to know where I am. I'll look for a new place tomorrow,"
"You don't need to do that, just take your time, it's okay,"
If only I could ask you to stay with me for good...
He tried to smile but it looked too bitter to watch. "No, I don't want to trouble you,"
"No, really, take your time to clear your mind and find the best place. I won't see you as a burden at all,"
"Thank you, Ty," I could see his sincerity of his words.
I escorted him to my place. I actually was proud of my own place. It was big enough to accommodate him or even more people. It was better than what Bryan gave to him too. It's located near the shopping complex and street food stalls so I could make sure that he would not get bored or even get hungry.
After walking him to the guest room, he just sat at the bed and kept silent.
"So... I must say that what you did was great," I gave him a thumb-up.
He laughed for a while. "Was I?"
I chose to sit next to him, but then a call just came to my phone. It was the trainee so I picked up the phone.
"I just came from her place and had some talks, it turned out that she was asked to play as a mistress to provoke the wife so that she would ask for the divorce first. It's not like what the rumor said,"
"Okay, thanks," I hung up the phone after that.
Then I saw Keane was looking at me since earlier.
"It's confirmed, their affair..."
I am sorry. I realized liking a person could make me the worst person after all.
He heaved a sigh of relief. Seeing his reaction made me convinced to play along.
"I can't imagine how tired it is to live as himself. He plays many roles and to maintain it well until today... There must be a lot of work to do,"
"The worst thing is... I don't know which one is his real self. I thought he was showing his true self when he was with me. But that's only my imagination,"
I patted his head. He looked at me, blankly.
"It's so upsetting, when you realized you wasted too much your valued time for someone that's not worth it,"
"Don't say that, you're being such a strong person like now was all because of him,"
He smiled to me. "Thank you,"
After that I went out from his room. I thought a lot. I regretted everything, but I did not want to stop. If something happened between them, it was because of their cursed fate. Sooner or later, they would eventually break up. It was only a matter of time, right?
The next day, I personally came to the site to meet with Bryan. He was there, and after realized that I stood beside him, he only took a glance and looked away.
"He must be at your place now," he said calmly, and by un-answering him was another way of admitting.
I was full of guilt and did not dare to look at him straight. I only wanted to confirm something.
"Why didn't you clear up things about Karina to him?"
"It's never about her, it's only about us. I was still that coward person who only know how to hurt him. I did not dare to ask him for waiting anymore,"
"So... You still choose your own family, at the end?"
He looked at me fiercely. "Which side are you?"
"Isn't that obvious?"
"Then it's useless to talk with you, goodbye,"
He walked away but after a few steps, he stopped.
"Tell him to take care of his health and eat well," he turned back to look at me, "He was too ignorant of his own body,"
I just nodded to him. I hated to realize that this man truly loved Keane and I was accountable to separate both of them. If it's not for the fact that I did this for the man that I also loved, for his own sake, I might never be this heartless at all.
When I went home I saw Keane was sitting blankly but when he realized someone came, he just went to the room but I stopped the door when he tried to close it.
"Keane, have you had your dinner?"
He nodded. "I took your chocolate milk in the fridge,"
"No, I mean a proper meal, come out, I'll cook you something," I took his hands to follow me to the kitchen.
While preparing for making a meal, I started talking to break the silence.
"A cold milk is not good for your stomach, I better create a mushroom soup for us,"
"Fine," his voice was too faint.
I just blabbered any topic after that but I wasn't sure he was even listening. After the soup was ready, then I saw him sitting at the table with a gloomy face.
"Should I just asked Bryan to come here and cook for you instead?
He looked surprised and tried to put a smile but actually he just made it worse. "I shouldn't be like this... I am sorry,"
"No, don't be," after I talked, he suddenly went silent again.
It was so depressing though. I felt like I could not hold it anymore.
"Hey," I waited until he looked at me and paid attention to me.
I was hesitant at first, but seeing him in a bad condition like now, it hurt me more.
"If I tell you I'll take care of you from now on, will you be okay with that?"
Instead of a surprised look that I already expected, he looked more like trying to grasp the idea. He waited for my next word.
"You waited enough and now it's my turn to wait for you. When the time comes for you to accept me, are you okay if I stay with you like this?"
I would be your shelter from now on. I would be whatever you want me to be.
I finally understood what "greed" was when I saw his eyes one more time. "I want you to be happy, but is it wrong if I want to be the reason of your happiness? Can I be your option? What should I do to be one?"
"Ty?" he called me. "Ty?" he called me again. I was caught daydreaming while looking at him.
"Hmm?" I answered him.
"What were you calling me for? Why don't you eat too?" he pointed at my soup.
Ah, right. I was still that coward that could only see you from afar. This distance was the furthest I could be. I was more afraid if I finally opened myself, he would turn away from me. It was the scariest scene of my bad dreams.
"I was about to ask you, which worse, waiting for someone or waiting for someday?"
